My Longhaul-COVID Story

April of 2021: After being bombarded like the rest of you daily with "news alerts" containing death tolls and executive orders from our President mandating us to be vaccinated, I got my first vaccine dose in April of 2021. I had my reservations, but between my trust from working in the biotechnology sector and down right fear of contracting the virus and giving it to my wife who has an autoimmune disease, I felt like it was something I should do. In June of 2021, I took the second dose. I had heard stories of those who got the same vaccine that they felt super tired or even flush after each dose. But not me, I felt nothing. If only in knew what was coming next.

Early-January 2022: I am just coming back to work from a restful holiday break when I noted I felt strange. I went through my morning routine and it was fairly obvious by the time I got out of the shower I was not feeling well. So I made my way to the medicine cabinet, pulled out a rapid COVID test, and shortly after, discovered I had COVID. At first, I was not overly impressed by the symptoms on the first day: I had a low grade fever of 99.9, zero sense of taste and smell, which was a little disorienting, but overall, it just felt like a flu. So I hunkered down and did what the CDC suggested, wait it out. It should be noted, my wife tested positive as well, but she never lost her sense of taste or smell.

By day 3, my fever remained low, my sense of taste and smell were still gone, but now there was a new symptom. I have described this symptom many ways to many practitioners as it is had to describe. But for the sake of this writing, I will try to be succinct: it was a feeling of disconnection, a heavy floating feeling as if I was super dizzy, joined with a disconnected feeling of what I was experiencing wasn't real, like a walking dream. The closest I've ever come to experiencing anything like this was when I had a deeply set in sinus infection. "Ground control to Major Tom", except this was neither cosmic nor fun. By day five my fever broke and over the next five days I started to regain my sense of taste and smell. Huzzah! Both my wife and I survived! That wasn't so bad.....

The following Monday I went back to work during the day and was attending school in the evening as I was finishing the last two classes in my MBA program. It was during this week, I began to drastically notice something was not right. While I never was a marathon runner or special forces operative, I was in decent enough shape. And at the time, my office was in a portion of our finished basement, and at the end of my work and school day I had to walk up the stairs. It is only 10 steps, but it felt like I was climbing a mountain. By the time I reached the top, not only was I exhausted, sucking wind, my heart rate matched. It was beating like I had been on a treadmill, 100, 110, 120, 135 beats per minute. Maybe I am just still run down from the virus. I wrote it off. Another couple days go by, and now I am struggling to stay focused at work and having an even more difficult time reading, writing papers and making presentations at school/work. Now, I am no Einstein, but I did above average in school, making honor roll many times and graduating with honors with my other degrees. I was also a master at multitasking, scenario planning, and strategy, all of which I was able to do on paper or within my mind's eye. But now, I could no longer do that. This is what brought me back to my doctor for the first time after infection.

At the time, I was seeing a doctor within a major medical system here in the St. Louis region, told him about my symptoms, and he verbally diagnosed me as having long-COVID. He assured me these symptoms would go away and that was that.

A few more days pass and I am still dealing with the above mentioned symptoms, but now, I am feeling what I described at the time as "adrenaline dumps". Whether I was leading a meeting, giving a presentation, or just sitting at my desk writing a report, my heart rate for seemingly no reason would spike to the point it felt like it was jumping out of my chest. Over the next couple of days, I was terrifyingly becoming accustomed to my FitBit alarming 8, 10, 15+ times a day registering a heart rate that was equal to me running or playing a high impact sport. It is now mid-February and I am going back to my doctor again. Upon arrival, my vitals were checked, blood pressure is high, resting heart rate in the one hundred teens. Still no treatment plan for this, and now my doctor is tearing me towards impacts from my job.

"Maybe your job is just stressful", would you like to try benzodiazepines asked my doctor? Now, I am a retied law enforcement officer having served at the state and federal level, during that time of my career, I also served on the greater St. Louis Major Case Squad Homicide unit. I'ver seen scary and ugly things. Working in the corporate sector leading meetings is no where near as stressful as stopping a car on the interstate at 0300 in the morning by yourself. However, I trusted this doctor, so I began to internalize, maybe this was all in my head. I should have never doubted myself. At this time, I am no longer working out 5 days a week due to massive fatigue, but I am losing weight.

May 2022: I have literally fought tooth and nail to not drop the proverbial ball at my job as well as some how by the grace of God, I finished those two classes, some how eeked out A's and graduated with my MBA, go me! Also on the home front, we just completed our dream project of installing an in-ground pool surrounded by beautiful landscaping. I should be happy right? I should feel relieved right? WRONG. But this time I was feeling a level of exhaustion that I have never experienced before and my sleep was being disturbed. My Fitbit was registering a resting hear rate, while I slept, between 100-105 bpm. My average before I got sick was 65-75. It is also worth noting I have gone back to my doctor a total of 8 times by this time. Every time I was met with the same outcome, "hey you have an anxiety disorder and you are probably depressed, go to a therapist and take these pills". However, I rejected them as I was convinced something else was going on and frankly I was just going to the doctors at this point to document in case to give my wife some legal standing should I not make it.

August 2022: My resting heart rate is now 115+ while I sleep, when I sleep (I am averaging 5 hours of sleep a night). Adrenaline dumps have increased to 20+ a day. It was as if my proverbial throttle was open wide and there was no way I could slow down. I now can only sleep with sedatives, which in turn were not allowing me to get into deep or REM sleep, further exacerbating my situation. I am not pleasant to be around, my fuse is growing short both at work and at home and I am spiraling deeper into the lie that "this is all in my head". I have now been back to my doctor 12+ times at this point; same story, take pills and go talk to someone. I have now lost 10+ pounds.

Mid-October 2022: I am at the end of my rope. There are 2-5 day swaths where I am not sleeping at all. My heart feels like it could be jettisoned from my chest, adrenaline dumps are getting worse and are waking me up at night.

I am on the way into the office on a Monday morning, driving, when an adrenaline dump hits and my vision blurred as if I was going to pass out, and I almost did. I pulled over, gained what composure I could, turned my hazard lights on and limped my SUV back to the house. In tears, I ask my wife to help me craft a message to my manager that I am going on a medical leave. I have lost 20 pounds at this point. I went back to my doctor for the last time, same results (it should be noted, it was the hospital system's mandate that doctors "wait and see" and basically provide no treatment, shame on them). I was in a dark place, something had to change, or I was going to force the change. But thank God, for my faith and relationship with Him, which told me to not give up.

A few days later: I go into full detective investigation mode; I am not going down without a fight. I cannot be the only one out here who just a short 10 months ago was a happy, healthy, balanced person, can I? This is when I make contact with a prestigious medical research school in the St Louis area who had a strong research project called the "COVID Clinic". And while they were not treating patients, but were just studying them, they did point me in the direction of a number of resources I would not have found without them. They introduced me to other medical research campuses who in turn brought me more data and more leads, a pattern was beginning to form: you need to find a team that practices Integrative Medicine and a medical doctor who is certified in Functional Medicine. Duly noted, what the heck does any of this mean?

As I continued my reasearch, these practices continued to come up. Even as I spoke to survivor groups and other support groups, functional medicine was always brought up. Maybe this isn't the end?

October 20-25, 2022: I find 3 highly recommended functional medicine teams in the greater St Louis Area and I met with all 3. At the end of this discovery process I met the man and the organization who saved my life, Dr. Scott with Palm Health in Ladue Missouri.

I met with Scott and some intake staff at the medical center and for the first time in 10 months, I was told I was not alone. And while this was just a meet and greet, Scott walked me through step by step the tests he would order and how he would treat me based on how those tests came back. He also shared with me that many long covid patients like me are seeing massive inflammation throughout their bodies, localized in the heart, brain and even nervous system. Scott shared with me white papers and studies which supported this theory. He also stated it was painfully common for men to have fungal sinus infections which can only be detected with a CT scan. It is not easy for me to admit as I am a "meat and potatoes mid-western guy", who's been told his whole life to not show emotions, but I can admit that I broke down in tears in this office as it was the first time in 10 months a doctor was treating me like a patient, not a psych ward escapee. But then came the hard news: Palm Health is a concierge medical group who sits outside of insurance plans. On the bright side that means they are not handcuffed into treatment plans by a hospital or insurance system. The bad news, membership was not inexpensive. However, my membership not only covered unlimited access to Scott, it came with an entire medical team, including a cardiologist and a ton more fringe benefits. But this was a big expense and I didn't want to put my wife on the spot, so we thanked them and said we would think about it. When my wife and I left the clinic, there was not much thinking to do over the weekend as she told me to call them first thing Monday morning and sign up. So I joined this medical group and had an appointment to see Scott the next day on Tuesday.

October 25, 2022: I meet Scott, he orders blood tests (which I took two days later), CT scans for my sinuses, an MRI for my brain, and an echocardiograph for my heart (all of which were completed in less than 2 weeks-shout out to St Luke's Hospital System). Holy crap, this guy believes me, maybe this isn't the end?

A few days later: Blood tests are back. On the bright side, you're alive. However, everything inside you seems to be out of balance. You have inflammation markers like a cancer patient, your testosterone levels low, you are deficient in every vitamin your body needs to repair itself. The CT scan showed signs of inflammation consistent with a fungal sinus infection. So I immediately had a compound nasal spray made for me and began eradicating the fungal sinus infection.

The MRI thankfully showed no signs of lesions on my brain or shifting of the grey matter. However, Dr. Scott and the research he provided showed early brain inflammation and inflammation of the autonomic nervous system would not necessarily show on an MRI at first. But I was presenting with classical signs of brain/ANS inflammation.

This is when he introduced me to a compound medication called LDN: low-dose Naltrexone, along with several white paper studies on its effectiveness in treating long COVID patients. It apparently removes inflammation throughout the body, repairs the blood barrier in the gut and brain, along with other positive effects.

I'm in, I'll take it. And happily, a compound pharmacy in the area could make it for me and it was not expensive at all for a 90 day supply. I also found it serendipitous as Neltrexone in high doses is known as Narcan, the substance I was familiar with due to my years in law enforcement which is used to revive people who overdosed on heroine. To everything, turn, turn.

Scott also placed me on a vitamin a supplement regiment (Vitamin B's, C, D, Omega 3, Fish Oils, Modified Citrus Pectin (Pectasol) , as well as prescribed me to be seen by an acupuncturist, as well as cryogenic therapy, steam/sauna therapy, salt therapy, and PEMF therapy. All of which has been proven to calm the body and mind, reduce inflammation and help the body heal. I begin all these therapies, including LDN this week.

November 2022: For the first time in 10 months, my heart rate dropped from a resting 115 bpm to 70s! Something was working, you cannot imagine the hope this brought me as it was the first glimmer of hope I have had since this nightmare began. As a man who has been a pseudo-tough guy most of his life, I was unbelievably surprised at the impact of cold and heat therapy, as well as the supplements were having on my body and mind. It seemed like every week that passed, my body was "downshifting" and I was able to relax. Same goes for acupuncture. How can turning me into a pin cushion make me feel so relaxed, AND allow me to get the best sleep I have had in months the night after the treatment?

Well, the doctor who was performing the acupuncture is from China, where the practice originates, and she told me over and over that my body was in a state of excitement and my energy levels were unbalanced, which in her opinion, made it so my body could not fully heal. She also had me stick out my tongue at every session and asked if I was having stomach problems. It should be noted, I WAS, and had told NO ONE up until the point Dr. Lily was treating me. I wrote off the indigestion, bloating, and other symptoms as "nerves". However, months later, we will discover this was not just nerves.

December 2022: I am actually, sleeping most nights, my heart rate is no longer erractic, and the adrenaline dumps are dissipating to a level I can at least manage it. And it was at this junction that I made a critical error. I was so excited to be seeing improvement that I continued to write off the stomach issues, continued adrenaline dumps, and occasional insomnia, and anxiety.

Hindsight being 20/20, as I share this story, this was the most terrifying experience of my life thus far. Since I was seeing improvements, out of fear, I ignored the other warning signs and hoped that they would just go away. Against my doctor's wishes, I stated I wanted to go back to work and felt like I was good to go. Famous last words: Little did I know, jumping back into work and not getting more rest lit a delayed fuse which would make this first wave of this life changing sickness, look like a walk in the park.

January 2023: My doctor releases me from medical leave and I head back to work. I continued the therapies listed above weekly, but I did dial back on some, like cryogenic therapy, steam/sauna therapy, salt therapy, PEMF therapy, and acupuncture due to work. Symptoms remained light in the beginning, but I was marginalizing and downplaying them, as I was terrified of EVER reliving what I experienced last year.

March 2023: For almost twelve weeks now every time I go to see Dr. Lily for acupuncture, she has me stick out my tongue and can tell I am still having stomach issues. Other physical and neurological symptoms are increasing, and it is sad to say, I had become so accustomed to this "new normal" that I became an expert on masking what was happening to me and what I was going through. Most people who know me are probably reading this for the first time and had no clue I was even suffering.The fuse continued to burn, but now quicker.

Mid-April 2023: Ka-Boom, full physical and neurological symptom relapse. Fatigue, uncontrollable adreneline dumps, heart rate fluctuations, insomnia, and now an attack upon my spirit: clinical levels of depression.

I have been sad before in the years I've been on this earth, and I have felt loss, but this was different. I had no hope, I completely shattered into a million pieces, I thought this was the end. And had I not had the medical team I had, and the love and support from my wife, friends and family, I may not be here today: Begin a 2nd Medical level.

May 2023: Dr. Scott instructed me to go back to the full levels and frequency of the protocol I was on last year, and I did. He also partnered with Doctor Lily and others in the medical center to see what may have been missed. Dr. Scott also noted the major shift in my personality and kindly asked me to begin seeing one of their top trauma therapists. This was not easy for me to do, as I am familiar with these types of specialists from my time in law enforcement. As these were the people who I used to work with on horrible cases involving children and other crimes I'd rather not go into deep detail.

As a man and the person who was always there to run into the line of fire and rescue others, it was unbelievably hard to admit that now I was the one who needed rescue. This began my relationship with Dr. Linda at Pal Health. Dr. Scott also ordered more blood tests as well as a deep gut health test called a "Gut Zoomer".

Late-May/Early-June 2023: I am a hot mess. As I am working through the emotions of shattering like I did upon this relapse, and coming to terms I am now fighting Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), the blood test and gut tests came back in waves, with both good and bad news.

The good news is what is being discovered is treatable, the bad news is you're not out of the woods yet. My inflammation markers (which have had a direct correlation to physical and neurological symptoms to date) have increased. However, one of the more scary markers is slightly lower that before, so that was nice. But we did learn that my testosterone levels were lower that last time (right on the brink of being dangerously low). So my doctor decided to put me on testosterone therapy. But the real shocker came in early June when my doctor told me the results of my gut test.

My doctor was shocked, which is never a fun thing to hear given the gravity of what I was going through, but he still asked me, "have you left the country recently? specifically have you traveled to Latin America or Africa?". I was fairly confident he knew the answer already but was compelled to ask given what the gut test showed and of course I told him "no".

I haven't left the country since well before COVID hit and have traveled nowhere outside of the lower 48 states of the US since COVID, which only made the findings more shocking. I had two distinct parasites living in my gastrointestinal tract; one which originates in Africa, another which originates in Latin America. Both of which can and will cause the same physical and neurological symptoms I was suffering from. My doctor warned me treating these monsters could take weeks if not months, and historically, anti-parasitic medicine was not easy to get ahold of and often pricey. But given my condition and my state, I was desperate to put this experience behind me. Enter the next phase and battle for my recovery.

Late-June 2023: Each parasite called for a different medication: one would be a 6 day supply for one parasite; a two week volley for the second. And of course the two week anti-parasitic prescription was a highly contested medication (Ivermectin). The first battle was finding a pharmacy within the greater STL area who even had the medicine. I recognize both at the time, and now as I write this blog, that Ivermectin was politically charged, but good God, I really needed this stuff and no one in my area carried any as it was against their policy? What kind of policy prohibits a known medicine?

After a few days I was able to find a pharmacy, which was able to scrape just enough pills together to give me a two week supply, but they warned me, I need to take this medicine within three weeks, or it will be expired and they will not be carrying it moving forward. I was not a conspiracy person before this experience, but the trained and hardened investigator in me was beginning to see a blatant pattern. Battle one complete, enter number two.

After telling them to fill the script, I discovered they also had a limited supply of the other anti-parasitic medicine, so I asked them to fill both scripts. Two hours later, I get a call from them: the first script is ready, and my co-pay was.....$300! Neat. Don't care, gonna take it. They also inform me they are having trouble getting the green light from the insurance company for the Ivermectin, but they will call back once that is sorted out "shortly". One day passes, and I am in no mood to be patient any longer so I drove the many miles to this pharmacy to get an update, fully prepared to pay cash if I have to. Well, guess I must have had a premonition, upon my arrival the pharmacist tells me my insurance is denying the script. Ok, so what is the cost......$500! Well, guess I am going to buy it, sure as heck want to get through this 18+ month nightmare and this could be the key. Thank God for the manager at the pharmacy; she heard my conversation with the tech, did some kind of magic in the computer, and got the two week supply dropped to $250. I left with a sense of accomplishment and hope this was the key. Battle two complete, begin battle 3.

I opted to start the 6 day regiment medication as it warned of the possibility of discomfort while taking the medication. Possibility of discomfort? Well, that was an understatement! I laid in bed for 5 days straight, fever, chills, stomach issues akin to the movie Aliens. I thought at any moment, this parasite was going to burst out of my stomach and lay waste to everything in my home. I texted my doctor several times, to make sure I wasn't having a bad reaction. And he told me, "yeah, I was afraid you may not want to take it, but this is totally normal. The Ivermectin will not be as bad". So, with a case of electrolyte drinks close at hand, I powered through the six day protocol. By the seventh and eighth day, I was feeling better. I took a week off of the protocol and started the Ivermectin in the next week.

Early-July 2023: By this time, I had completed both rounds of anti-parasitic medicine and had been working with a trauma specialist for 8+ weeks. I was starting to see major improvements in my physical health: cognitive abilities were returning, adrenaline dumps were waining, fatigue, anxiety, insomnia, waining.

It has been a humbling and enlightening experience to learn and see first hand the connectivity between the body and the mind: physical illness can trigger mental illness; and metal illness can trigger physical illness. Prior to this entire experience, I was your quintessential "dude". Nothing bothered me, emotional range was not something us guy "do", and there was nothing I could not "brute force" my way through (add neanderthal grunt here).

Trauma from childhood? It's in the past, it's not a problem. Years of watching human beings do absolutely abhorrent things to one another, even children, and the elderly, no big deal, it doesn't haunt me. I'm the one wearing the cape, swooping in to save, the day. How could I ever need saving? It's not possible. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Oh how arrogant and foolish I was!

Mid-August 2023: I am physically begining to feel better than I have in months, going on years. But I am still cautiously optimistic, as the PTSD monster was still alive and well. My doctors and my trauma specialist were extremely pleased to see how I was responding and healing. However, these gut monsters are nasty bugs, so out of an abundance of caution, my doctor ordered one more broad spectrum anti-parasitic medication, which thank God was covered by insurance. I began the 2 week regiment and scheduled to take another gut test in late August, with results to come back in September. I also continued with the cryo/sauna/salt/PEMF treatments. And while it's hard for the "manly" side of me to admit, there definitely is something to these therapies. Which I would have classified as "spa treatment" 18 months ago and wrote off as "girl stuff". The humbling continues.

During this time, I was also flabbergasted to learn through the therapy sessions with Dr. Linda that there was a great number of proverbial bags I had been carrying my entire life, some of which I had carried since I was 6 years old. Opening up like this and exploring the past and present nightmare I have been through was a healing and enlightening experience. For my entire life, my family, friends, and society has told me I am not allow to express these feelings, I am not allowed or supposed to have these levels of feelings, and for God's sake, never share these things with anyone. Cry alone in your truck, punch yourself, go drink a beer, and forget about it.

However, this approach caused me to form what I will call a "trauma closet". Now, my trauma closet had a steel framed door and as long as I have been healthy, which has been 38 out of 40 years of my life, so not a bad run, I have been able to stuff a great number of things into this trauma closet. The problem with this closet, like many closets, we stuff it full of things and we forget what is in there. And I was a master packer: childhood pain and rejection, experiencing racism first hand, being unable to save a few young people while wearing a uniform, to being betrayed by people wearing uniforms, the list went on and on. And since I was a "man", I never really processed these hurts and pains and instead crammed them into a closet and thought that was the end of it. Oh, but it wasn't

As Covid, the vaccine, or both weakened my body, coupled with being gaslit by medical practitioners who made me feel and told me it was "all in my head". The door and the frame of my trauma closet began to buckle and shake. And when I relapsed in the spring of 2023 and was hit with the deepest and darkest depression I have ever felt in my life, the door on the closet blew off the hinges and like a cartoon, everything came bursting out: pain, insecurities, injuries 5, 10, 15, 30 years old all came out at once, flashbacks to homicide cases I worked and flashes of horrific child crimes I worked. And at the time it happened, I was still too "manly" to even recognize why I was feeling "all the things". And while I would give this entire experience 0 out of 5 stars and would not wish it even on my worst enemy, I am grateful I was forced to deal with these injuries.

Mid-September 2023: My body's chemicals and hormones are returning to normal, adrenaline dumps, later identified as panic attacks, are no longer a thing, clinical levels of anxiety are leaving me, my heart shows no longterm signs of damage and my brain has no signs of visible damage (some in my survivor circles had strokes, lesions on the brain, and had to relearn how to talk, think, and process information), testosterone levels are rising, my gut is healing and my microbiome is retuning to normal (meaning my body is processing and absorbing food again as it should), I am sleeping through the night without aids, and thank God, the parasites (monsters) have been eradicated from my gut. I am beginning to recognize myself again, I am no longer the emaciated, 40+ panic attacks a day, can't sleep, barely can eat, quivering mess I have been for months. I have also managed to set down 40 years of baggage, most of which I was carrying from a number of incidents from my childhood.

January 2024: I am reinvigorated, reenergized, and in the process of launching this 5013c's website, where I hope many other's stories will be housed, along with two other business ventures. There is no guarantee this is the end of the nightmare for me, we are all seeing the news reports. However, I feel like this season is over and now I must focus on what has always brought me joy, something that has always been a part of my work product since retiring from law enforcement, but maybe a little less pronounced; I am rededicating my life to the service of others. Both through this charity and other avenues. If you are reading this and you or a family member needs help, please click the contact button on this site, I will be monitoring the organization's email and I will respond and share everything and anything I can to help. Above all, know: you are not alone, you were never alone, people love you, there is a creator God in control, and you can and will make it through!