Stan's COVID Story

In 2021, I was a shell of myself. My wife knew I wasn’t right, but didn’t know how to help. My mother consistently asked me if everything was alright. I thought it was – I thought I was just in a rough patch at work, and like I had before, would push through and come out on the other side.

I was wrong. I wish I knew then what I know now.

I did all the right things – we went nowhere; when we had to, we were all masked up. The kids stayed home from school and did virtual learning for almost a year. My youngest, in 3rd grade at the time, showed major signs of depression. He’s an extrovert and truly missed being around his friends.

He gained a lot of weight, he became overly emotional, and just wasn’t himself. He needed to get back to school. Kids will be kids – and he brought Covid-19 home because he was pulling his mask down to talk to his friends. Oops!

All of us except for my oldest (who quarantined himself) caught it. I had it the worst, but it was only like a minor flu virus. I got better after a week or so, and assumed that was the worst of it – and was thankful I had been double vaccinated to cut down the severity of the symptoms.

Again, I was wrong.

It happened gradually – so much so I didn’t even realize how much I was impacted until I became a mess. I have ADHD (Attention Deficit with Hyperactivity Disorder), but have had it in control for decades. Months after my recovery, I began to notice that keeping my attention was more difficult than it had been for years.

If that was the end of it, I would have been fine.

At the time, I was working in a very stressful environment – and assumed the other issues I was having was related to work. I started having anxiety. And by “anxiety,” I don’t mean occasionally feeling nervous or stressed. I mean I literally obsessed over every work conversation. My wife would be talking to me, and I wouldn’t even hear her. I was replaying a conversation in my head, wondering if I was going to get fired the next day.

For the record, I’ve never had anything other than stellar reviews and multiple promotions in my career.

Depression also showed up. I felt like I had a constant rain cloud over my head. The things that used to give me joy didn’t. I often wondered why I was still plotting through life. While I didn’t have suicidal thoughts (thank goodness), I did often wonder what the point of life was.

Prior to the illness, I loved hiking, writing and reading. I never did any of it anymore. I scrolled on my phone endlessly – much to the chagrin of my wife. But neither of us realized what was wrong.

I started my career in the classroom, so I was very aware of the warning signs of suicide – and one day I had an epiphany. Even though I wasn’t considering it, I checked many of those boxes.

I needed help. Fast. Because I knew it was only getting worse.

I talked to a friend who started going to a functional medicine center, and started receiving details about the extent of his own long Covid issues. He suggested that maybe it wasn’t just a tough work environment that was causing these issues.

I decided to give it a shot.

After a 90-minute consultation that went through my whole life, lots of bloodwork and other tests for which I will spare you the details – the diagnosis was clear. I had long Covid.

Long Covid doesn’t cause anxiety, depression or the other issues I was having. However, if you are predisposed to anything, it unlocks all the doors, much like the Joker freeing all the inmates of Arkham Asylum to wreak havoc on Gotham.

I had a diagnosis – but the cure? Much longer than a round of antibiotics. I had to make serious commitments to mental and physical health. I’ve been seeing a therapist for almost a year. I have focused on meditation and tried to force myself to get active again. I needed to take supplements to get my gut health back to where it needed to be. And mostly – I needed to stay the course for months, because giving up any part of it would mean a slower return to normalcy – or maybe never getting there again.

I will be honest – I have never been a believer in alternative medicine. Or taking any medicine, for that matter – my wife will confirm. I fought taking any pain pills after knee surgery. I don’t take pills for a headache. I like to think I can fight it on my own.

There was no fighting this on my own. And without my functional medicine center, I would never have found my path forward.

Almost a year later, I am me again. I’m writing, exercising, and more joyful. I have a better relationship with my wife. And I enjoy my job again (I also did change roles to escape a truly toxic environment!).

If I had known then what I know now, I could have avoided months and months of pain, scaring my mother, and worrying my wife. I would have saved myself a lot of stress and anxiety.

My story has a happy ending – but there are plenty of others whose do not. Maybe you aren’t aware of functional medicine and the help it can offer (or maybe you can’t afford it – it’s expensive). Maybe you doubt the effectiveness of therapy or meditation. Or maybe you, like me, didn’t realize there was something causing all these issues inside your brain and it won’t fix itself, no matter how tough you are.

If this resonates with you, get help. Talk to a therapist. Ask for a free consultation from a local functional medicine professional (most offer this to give more information). Talk to someone who has dealt with long Covid.

But mostly – don’t go alone. It’s a lonely road that leads away from your goals and your happiness.